The Secret Diary of Jake Pugh aged 4 ½

Jake 1

Saturday

Man was messing around in his shed again, taking large pieces of wood and turning them into smaller pieces of wood – why doesn’t he just get smaller pieces in the first place? Surely if a cat could work that out a human could. I followed him into his shed, he spends a lot of time in there but I have never been able to work out what is in there that is so exciting……

Got locked in the shed for 3 hours as man didn’t realise I was in there, and I am still no closer to finding what is so good about the shed, it’s just a load of smelly tools and bits of wire, must investigate further………….

Sunday

Or more like dullday – only humans would call a day of the week after the weather, it just leaves yourself open to all sorts of mislabelling libel claims, especially in this country. I’ve heard there are other places a long way away that has sun all the time, the cats there must be very happy.jake 4

Monday

Sun. Glorious sun to lie and stretch in. I did try to catch a mouse or two but it was just too exhausting in this weather, besides, the hot weather doesn’t give me much of an appetite anyway.  The sun does mean a lot of people walking past with their dogs though, it does annoy me when they are not on their leads and think it is ‘fun’ to chase us cats up and  down the lane, thank goodness I can climb and jump to get away!

Jake 2

Tuesday

Rain. Lots of rain. Tried to make up for the rain by trying to get as close to the woman’s legs as possible at all times during the day today, humans like this. She was most ungrateful though and kept getting cross, I think it was because the rain was annoying her. I felt like giving up totally but thought I would rise above it and persevere. She somehow forgot I was in the kitchen though and shut the door so I couldn’t follow her into the living room, I wowed a lot but the door must be really thick, or she has bad hearing, I’m not sure which.

jake 6

Wednesday

More rain. I really wanted to catch a mouse today to show woman I had forgiven her for being so ungrateful yesterday but there is no way I am going out in this. I could really do with getting out of the house though today, the small human keeps following me everywhere I go. It wasn’t too bad when she first turned up (where did she actually come from?)but now she seems to have learnt to move around and keeps disturbing mine, Jessica’s and mum’s cat naps. Still I suppose we are lucky, it has taken her 10 months to start moving around, I don’t remember but my mum Katie tells me that I was moving in a few weeks. Humans really are slow…jake 5

Thursday

A slightly dull day, not too warm but perfect for mousing! Spent a long time in the field chasing this one little mouse who kept trying to get away, but I eventually got him! I took him back for woman but had been out chasing so long man had already got home. Left mouse in the utility room for them to find as a little surprise, but bit off his nose to add to my secret collection of mouse noses, I’ve hidden these somewhere really good that the humans will never find them!jake 3

Friday

Urrrggghh. Today was one of those days when I really didn’t want to get up and I certainly didn’t want to do anything remotely strenuous. Then I realised that I didn’t have to do anything. Not a sausage. Life as a cat is great. I slept in for a little while before getting up and having a little breakfast then settled down on the sofa for a little snooze. It’s amazing how quickly a day can pass when you are cat napping. Man got home and seemed happy that it was the weekend, said something about needing to make some more small bits of wood. I did try to explain that he could save himself a blot of time by getting small wood in the first place, I even miaowed it really slowly, but he didn’t seem to get it, or maybe he did and he just has something really exciting in that shed that he keeps going into hmmm, will perhaps follow him in tomorrow to investigate…………

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8 thoughts on “The Secret Diary of Jake Pugh aged 4 ½

  1. Dear Jake,
    We think your life sounds perfect. We’re tabby sisters who really enjoy mousing. Don’t you find some shrews taste revolting? We try them, but have to leave them- just can’t eat all the innards. We catch birds too but that seems to make our people grumpy. We catch really colourful ones to make them happier, but that makes them even crosser . It’s really quite hard to hunt them now that we both have 3 bells on our collars but we manage. We’ve tried catching bigger things like moles and rabbits, but they’re hard work to bring over the fence. Rabbits are tasty though! (Not moles. Urgh! Disgusting!)
    We like to move around the house to find the sunniest spots to sleep in. Sometimes Clary the scary old cat has got there first so we find somewhere else because she’s really old and really tetchy. Sometimes the dogs are there, but that’s okay because they don’t mind sharing.
    Well, off for another nap,
    Martha and Elsie x

    • Dear Martha and Elsie

      Thank you so much for your puuuurrrfect words of wisdom! People really are strange creatures! I once bought a mole in when the smallest human was really really small and woman was so ungrateful and screamed and even cried! I can’t work them out!! Must go I need to nap

      Lots of love
      Jake

  2. Dear Jake, Im going to tell you as a furry old man that you are wasting good napping time in trying to understand the ways of them indoors. They are generally happy if you pay them minimal attention, although a swift nudge and a piteous squeak will generally remind them of their duties in the cat food department. I did on occasion bring her a fluffy baby bunny home one night, unfortunately she heard scuffling in the dark and thought she was chasing me round the living room untill she turned on the light…and you wouldnt believe she had no fur on at all, it was all pretty scary and noisy and I ended up spending the night out in the rain…no lad, keep your pressies for the sleek little kitty down the lane..you will get a much better response.. you listen to.William The Maine Coon Cat now my lad.

    • Hi William

      I will listen to your advice as…….. I live next to a Maine Coon and find him a cat of excellence and my dad was called William so you must to be a good wise chap.

      Lots of love
      Jake

  3. jake well all i can say to you is dog up or man up you are worth more than cap naps have you never seen the dvd cats and dogs come on boy you could take over think top cat

  4. Dear Jake,
    I belong to Kiwijo’s mother in law (who lives next door), but I spend more time there than I do at home. I am allowed to sleep on the bed here and even have my own special rug and cushion, and give me lots of loves. Here I can get away from the pesky dog that lives in the same house as me and wont leave me alone. If Kiwijo fed me I would never have to go back to my house.
    Now, as I am an old cat, all this writing has exhuasted me so I am off for a ‘pre-sleep’ nap.

    • Hiya

      Oooooo sleeping on a humans bed is my favourite thing in the whole world! I used to do it every night then….. the small human came along and we were suddenly banned from the bedrooms – the doors are always shut booooo – so please do some bed sleeping for me!

      Lots of love

      Jake

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